6.23.2006

 

Republicans are Stupid

At PWTU we have accused Republicans of being communists, we've attacked the right-wing's spokeswoman (Ann Coulter) of being a subsidized instrument of the conservative cause, and we were the first to prove that Jack Murtha (our new hero) was correct when he accused "Bush's Brain", Karl Rove, of having a fat ass. We've also called for the restoration of strong American labor unions, we've supported some of Stephen Colbert's more controversial remarks, and we've looked into some crazy environmentalism conspiracy theories.

Is it any wonder, then, that our Google AdSense ads are beginning to target Republican web-surfers?

Google claims that their ads are "related to what your visitors are looking for on your site or matched to the characteristics and interests of the visitors your content attracts". In other words, given the pictured example to your left (click to enlarge), Google must think the following:

1.) People worse than us are attracted to Republican material.
2.) The kind of people who surf through random blogs are lonely and single (and Republican).
3.) Anything having to do with Communism (we have a feeling that soon, very soon, the search term "how to become a communist") will attract record numbers of our Chinese visitors, our MetaFilter visitors, and most importantly, our Republican visitors.

Google must be right, because we're making money hand over fist with this blog. And unless the title of this particular entry puts an end to our new influx of cash, we hope to God Google doesn't make any changes to their AdSense algorithms any time soon.

Keep on clicking those Google ads, you Republican nuts! Or at least get yourselves a new ringtone or two-- they would most definitely impress your hot new date.

, , ,

6.22.2006

 

WTF: Minimum Rage

Part One of PWTU's Ongoing Series: WTF?!

Where is the outrage? Why aren't people mad about this? Why isn't this frontpage news everywhere!?!

Yeah, we know: it was kinda-sorta reported on Tuesday that Congress had given itself a raise. But not even HuffPo, our favorite liberal news-blog, posted anything about how a day after this wage hike (despite record-low approval ratings) Congress rejected a Democrat-led effort to raise the minimum wage for ordinary Americans. It's been nine years since the last time Congress raised minimum wage to $5.15 an hour, and back then gas cost about a buck and a quarter a gallon. Nine years. And now Congress rejects efforts to finally raise it again, a day after giving itself a "cost of living" pay hike? Have they no shame?

And yeah, we know it was the House that gave itself the raise, and the Senate that rejected the minimum-wage hike, and that conservative morons will say that one things has nothing to do with the other. But we at PWTU disagree. And that's why we ask again: WTF??

(Source)

6.21.2006

 

PWTU Celebrates: The First Day of Summer

Today is summer solstice, the official first day of the season. We here at PWTU held a vote, and summer won as our favorite season by a comfortable margin:




And we also decided that who better to herald in the first day of the best season than deceased French novelist/playwright Jean-Paul Sartre, who would have turned 101 years old today?

6.19.2006

 

The Meta-Struggle Continues

They spammed our blog with gibberish meant to stifle open discussion. They flooded our inbox with threats such as "we have your five dollars, and your IP address" (it's 69.245.80.177 by the way). They made repeated ad hominem attacks in an attempt to crush our fighting spirit. And yet, after Metafilter's orchestrated and brazen assault on our humble little blog, we survive.

We survive despite the personal attacks and vicious threats; we survive despite their attempts to squash our site. But do not let the image to your left fool you: though our survival after their massive attack on our blog is a clear victory for us and for all who love freedom, the battle is far from over. In fact, even now the commies over at Metafilter solidify their control and intensify their book-burning techniques. In fact, Metifilter's leader himself has given up all pretense of being a freedom loving patriot: take a look at this page where an image of him, standing proud like Mao himself, can be found about halfway down. Why the mainstream media didn't cover the event portrayed here is yet another indication of Metafilter's growing control over the press. A 'brand new day,' indeed.

Some of us had our doubts about Metifilter's communist leanings before, but there can be no question in anyone's mind now that these Meta-heads plan nothing short of a communist dictatorship to rule over the entire Internet. Imagine a world where Google falls under their sway; imagine a world where making a bid on eBay is subject to their whims; imagine a world where all news is "filtered" through their site. Is that what anyone truly wants? A world ruled over by a God-hating, speech stifling, freedom-crushing "community weblog"? The thought terrifies us, which is why we must continue to fight against that awful day.

To borrow a line or two from Sir Winston S. Churchill, this victory of ours, though uplifting, is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. It may, however, be the end of the beginning.

(Our Declaration of War)

 

Karl Rove Has a "fat backside"?

We were shocked too, but Rep. John Murtha (D-Pennsylvania) accused the President's senior advisor of as much during Sunday's Meet the Press. Murtha, a former U.S. Marine and decorated Vietnam War veteran, was responding to Rove's accusations that Democrats have a pattern of "cutting and running" in a speech he made last week. During that speech, Rove repeatedly attacked the Democratic party while contending that the war in Iraq must continue to be fought (until... you know, someday).

Murtha responded to Rove's retarded (er, mentally impaired) remarks on Tim Russert's Sunday program by saying (and we're not making this up), "[Rove]'s sitting in his air-conditioned office on his big, fat backside, saying stay the course. That's not a plan."

We at PWTU found it highly unlikely that a.) Rove has a fat backside and b.) that he ever sits on it. But the proof is in the pudding: a quick Google-image search brought up the above picture, proving Rep. Murtha's claim.

Mr. Murtha, please take note: we at PWTU shall never doubt you again!

(Source) (Murtha)

6.18.2006

 

Kool Aid Drinkers

Part One of PWTU's Ongoing Series: Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!!

Yes, it's Sunday, a holy day of religious worship and rest. And though we at PWTU are generally "eh" about religion in general, we've always enjoyed getting the day off and have steadfastly resisted making any posts on this day.

Why the change? Well, today marks the 194th anniversary of the War of 1812 (clever title), and one PWTU staffer was adamant that we do a PWTU in History entry for the occasion. Frankly, though, most of us couldn't care less about some stupid war that occurred nearly two centuries ago. Since we promised this tearful-staffer an entry, though, we hereby present to you our first Sunday segment: a fascinating diatribe about Kool Aid (it's so much kooler than war!! get it?).

What is Kool Aid? To some it's that cheap but oh-so-delicious drink that many of us loved while growing up. Just add sugar, water, and a couple cubes of ice and it was almost (almost!) better than Mt. Dew. To others this drink symbolizes blind-obedience, absurd compliance, and outright insanity, mostly because of some psychos and hopped-up hippies who used the stuff for awesome-acid-trips/suicide back in the day. Thing is, though, most of us can remember a genuine love for the stuff, so hearing it referred to in a derogative manner is not only frustrating, but very, very sad. Especially when politics and/or hatred is thrown into the mix.

We at PWTU believe that Kool Aid is good stuff, and that references to it should always be positive. Have we been guilty of using it in a negative context? Most assuredly. But when conservatives refer to liberals as "Kool Aid drinkers" we get sad, and when liberals refer to ditto-heads (Rush Limbaugh listeners) as same, we get even sadder (we refuse to believe conservatives could ever have enjoyed the stuff).

So what say, between us and you, that we leave Kool Aid out of arguments once and forever? Kool Aid represents hot summers, laughing children, happiness, and good ol' sugary goodness. Dragging it into any nasty realm of discussion (such as politics) is uncalled for. And no, we weren't paid to say any of this (yet).

And that, friends, is our first random Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! entry. Was it completely irrelevant? Yep. Was it pretty lame? Sure. But on this Father's Day, wasn't it better than nothing at all? We'll let you be the judge.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?