5.19.2006

 

Weekend Filler

Part One of PWTU's Ongoing Series: People (Almost) as Good as Us

We're not saying we're better than them-- but declaring them our equal may be an insult to us both. Enjoy, then, some links to some (sometimes) good folk we at PWTU humbly acknowledge are (nearly) our equals.

The Everyday Economist - We consider their belief in the overall goodness and generosity of an absolutely unregulated free market cute (awww!). Plus they linked to us, otherwise we'd just think they're a bunch of idiots.

Club For Growth - A quaint site, we agree with pretty much every goal they have except: Making the Bush tax cuts permanent, Estate tax repeal (they wrote it as "death tax" but we're correcting it here), Social Security reform with personal retirement accounts, and Legal reform to end abusive lawsuits. Hmm. I guess we don't agree with much of what they stand for after all, but hey, they linked to us (and apparently we're whores).

Grow a Brain - This blog claims to be about Real Estate, but then why isn't it completely boring? Btw, Hanan-my-man, if you're interested in some good investments in Michigan (Dearborn area especially) drop us a line. Selling bank-owned homes to investors is one of PWTU's many hobbies.

Metafilter - We at PWTU believe this little site could be the next big thing. Go show your support, and tell'em PWTU sent ya (they'll know what you mean).

That's it for this week. Here's hoping that next week we're a.) still around and b.) our postings don't attract as many libertarian nut-jobs...



 

Uh-Oh: Some Fallout from my Open Letter to Sec. Land

Earlier one of my co-workers told me that I'd received a fax. This isn't unusual at my work so I didn't think anything of it… until she told me it was from the State of Michigan. My first thought when I began to read it? That there was no way this had anything to do with my open-letter to Michigan Secretary of State Terri Lynn Land the other day regarding the state’s changing license plates.

I was wrong. Below is a scanned copy of the original fax (names & numbers redacted for obvious reasons):



I’m relatively new to blogging and I clearly made a grievous, amateur error. You see, originally (before I partnered up with ring) I had intended on creating a “serious” blog for my work so I included my real name, and office phone numbers, in my Blogger profile. Pretty dumb.

So anyway, regardless of this letter’s authenticity I’m making two changes to this blog effective immediately. 1.) My profile is no longer available (and if I put it back up it will be sans the real-life contact info) and 2.) I will no longer do things to try and get other people fired (because clearly that was my intent all along). I will not, however, be removing my open letter to the secretary because, frankly, I honestly think it is a good idea.

Oh, and to Mr. E, I want to extend to you my sympathies regarding your recent job loss. On behalf of the PTWU staff: “Our bad!”

UPDATE: Due to popular request I’ve transcribed the scanned letter below (to make it easier to read in case you have trouble viewing the image):

May 18, 2006
To the Editors of the Web-log "People Worse than Us":

Hello and my name is ***** of *** County, England, currently residing within your state of Michigan (near the westernmost corner of A** A***). Though I've never written a letter to one of your blogs before I feel compelled to do so now due to the fact that I recently, as of this morning, lost my job because, in an indirect fashion, of the writings contained in your online journal "The People Worse Than Us".

In your entry dated 17 May 2006 you published a correspondence from yourselves to the Michigan Secretary of State my former employer Terri Lynn Land. Forgive me if I'm not fully acclimated to American humor but my thought upon reading this entry were that you were being sincere. Apparently I made a terrible error with this assumption.

See I've been struggling, personally, with Michigan's economic state. Everyone in the State’s capitol has been. And the way you so simplistically described a solution for this peninsula's woes gave me pause for hope. But I'm told, now, that my optimism at your words was dearly misplaced.

I lost my job because of the words you wrote.

Did I make a mistake when I took your 17 May idea as serious one? Most likely I realize now. In retrospect I should not have presented your "open letter" as a serious suggestion. It made me look like a fool and it cost me my employment. But at the time I felt Ms. Land would see your idea as an example of the cutting-edge solutions often suggested within the famed “blogosphere” you Americans cherish so much. In point of fact Ms. Land did not feel your idea was “cutting edge” at all. I’m told her exact words regarding it included the terms “ridiculous” and “nonsensical”.

As of this writing my job has been officially moved “out of rotation" (i.e. the position has been eliminated) and I have been forced to surrender my keys and identification cards. I was given no notice. I was simply informed that I should pack up my things and be out of the office by this afternoon.

I’m hoping that the fax number provided in your Online Profile is accurate as it’s the only means to privately contact you I’ve managed to find. In any event I hope that upon learning Ms. Land does not take your letter seriously you will remove it from your blog at once. Further, I feel it would be proper for you to issue a public apology for playing such a cruel joke.

These are the last words I will type on this State-issued computer. I still cannot believe, especially after reviewing the rest of your blog that I ever took your 17 May entry seriously. I hope that no one else will make a similar mistake.

Yours sincerely Mr. E

 

PWTU In History: The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo

Part Three of PWTU's Ongoing Series


This may come as a surprise to many of you, but the vast majority of U.S. citizens will pass through this entire day without realizing that it marks the 158th anniversary of the end of the brutal Mexican-American war -- by way of a remarkable compromise: The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.

Many might scoff at the supposed importance of this treaty: “That was just some random thing I was forced to learn in school, then immediately forgot about to put that brain space to better use”. So why do we here at PWTU deem this event significant enough to merit an entire entry? Because this treaty gave us a huge chunk of what today is our southwestern states.

Below, what we would be missing if this marvelous treaty had never been seen to fruition:

California – Surfing.

Nevada – Gambling.

Utah – Mormons.

Arizona – Cacti.

And during our research, we were unable to pinpoint exactly where the Tex-Mex favorite initially slipped “over the border,” so we will make the following generalization:

The American Southwest – Taco.




Thank you, Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. Our country would never have been quite the same without these states; plus, it would be funny-shaped.

Part Two of Series


5.18.2006

 

Tanned, Rested, and Ready to Serve


At long last it appears the Feds might have discovered the whereabouts of Michigan's favorite son, Jimmy Hoffa! According to the Detroit Free Press, Federal agents executed a warrant today at a Milford Township farm to look for evidence regarding his mysterious disappearance 30-something years ago.

The timing could not be better. With unions losing more and more of their influence each passing year, we at PWTU think it's time for Hoffa to come back and lead not only his beloved Teamsters but the UAW as well. The unions need a strong leader in order to regain their former glory and we can't think of anyone who'd be better suited to the task.

So come on, Jimmy! You've been sorely, sorely missed. It's time for you to come home and make things right again...

(Source)

 

Chinese Invasion

Part Two of PWTU's Ongoing Series: The Commies Are Coming



It wasn't long ago that we at PWTU celebrated our first milestone due to a French invasion of our little site. And while it remains true that we don't obsessively check our sitemeter, it's nice to see where our visitors live from time to time. As the above image demonstrates, however, sometimes we're none too pleased with what our snooping reveals.

Yes, it's true: commies are reading PWTU! And before you try to reassure us by saying that Hong Kong isn't really communist, allow us to remind you that the British handed that city back to the Chinese government some ten or so years ago. Last time we checked, China is a communist country, ergo Hong Kong is communist. And now they're reading our blogs!

Bastards. Here's hoping those commie-jerks eventually ban our website... until then, better dead than red! Viva capitalism!

Part One of Series


 

PWTU In History: Mt. St. Helens

Part Two of PWTU's Ongoing Series





It's hard to believe that the massive explosion of the once-serene volcano occured 26 years ago. Although we here at PWTU were but wee tots when this disaster occured, we felt its after-effects throughout much of our childhood.

Granted, we grew up no where near the cantankerous mound; St. Helens, of course, is in Washington State. We grew up in metro Detroit.

So how did this event manage to effect our lives so much? Because our mother suffered a bizarre case of post traumatic stress disorder upon viewing the numerous images of the explosion. From that day forward, she would have nothing to do with any terrain that was even slightly hilly; she even expressed the desire, at one point, of uprooting us all to Kansas. Thankfully, the very real threat of tornados put an end to those plans.

So please take a moment to pause and remember that fateful day 26 years ago; Mt. St. Helens, we salute you.
(Source)

Part One of Series

5.17.2006

 

An Open Letter to the Michigan Secretary of State



An Open Letter to Ms. Terri Lynn Land
Update: There was some fallout from this open-letter. Read about it here.

Dear Ms. Land:

It is no secret that during the last six years Michigan has suffered the loss of thousands of manufacturing jobs which has led to the decline of the state’s economy. Budget shortfalls, due to decreased tax revenue, have caused painful cuts in almost every area of government. It seems that every year the state spends more than it earns despite desperate measures to increase revenue and, regrettably, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.

Until now. Madame Secretary, I hereby propose a solution that will guarantee a healthy new stream of revenue for the state’s coffers.

Ms. Land, before you decide that this letter would be better directed toward Governor Granholm or my state representative, allow me to explain why you are in a unique position to help the state’s ailing economy. It involves some legislation passed yesterday (Tuesday May 16th) by the state Senate but will guarantee nearly $100-million in new revenue for the state should you take bold action.

The legislation in question would eliminate the state’s 25-year-old blue license plate. According to the Detroit Free Press no decision has yet been made regarding the design of the new de-facto state plate. This is where you come in. Rumor has it that the new design will likely feature a reflective white background with blue letters on top. I propose instead that the new plate be a hot neon-pink color, something so disgusting to behold that no Michigander in their right mind would want it.

Before you write this off as a joke please consider the following. According to the Free Press approximately 5.6-million Michigan drivers currently opt for the standard plate over the “special” ones offered by your office. But if the standard plate were atrociously pink in color just imagine how many more drivers would choose one of the premium plates! I, for one, would gladly pay up to $35 on top of the regular registration fees to avoid such an embarrassing addition to my otherwise hip, manly car.

Ms. Land, you have here an opportunity to raise significant funds for the state-- without raising taxes. Is it unorthodox? Yes, but most cutting-edge ideas are. And while certain members of the media might ridicule such a plan you would be able to look these nay-sayers in the eye and list the many great initiatives the new monies would be pay for.

In closing, Ms. Land, if you would like to see an artist’s rendition of the new plate I envision please visit http://peopleworsethanus.blogspot.com/. Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to seeing the unveiling of this horrible, ugly, cash-cow of a license plate.

Regards,
A Concerned Citizen
(Source)

 

PWTU Birthday Honoree: Robert Lane (Bob) Saget


Beloved comedian Bob Saget turns the big 5-0 today. Amazing-- he doesn't look a day over forty!

Many of us welcomed Mr. Saget into our homes through the wholesome sitcom "Full House". His character, Danny Tanner, dispensed a tender mix of tough love and good-natured joshing to the five or six kids who lived with him and "the guys". Don't ask us, it's been a long time since we saw that show.

And who could forget the weekly anticipation of the latest installment of America's Funniest Home Videos, hosted by the charming Mr. Saget? He had the amazing ability to take a video that may have merited a chuckle or two and turn it into a groan-fest at the numerous corny jokes he managed to come up with. Who else could show a video of a man getting kicked in the ass by a donkey (for instance) and, rather than produce the normal reaction (laughing hysterically), make one say "I wish this annoying person would shut the fuck up."?

There is, however, a dark side to Mr. Saget, as evidenced by a brief cameo in Half Baked and his particularly raunchy rendition of a joke in the film The Aristocrats.

So on your very special day, PWTU salutes you, Bob Saget.

(Previous Honoree)

 

PWTU In History: The Origin of the NYSE

Part One of PWTU's Ongoing Series

The New York Stock Exchange: where is it from? Where is it going? And how rich do you have to be in order to consider it a serious economic indicator? We at PWTU have always prided ourselves on our relentless coverage of such complex economic issues, especially when inherent Douchbaggery is involved. And nothing brings out the douchebags quite like the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE: NYSE).

Don't get us wrong: for every Ken Lay and Gordon Gekko out there trying to screw over us workin'-Joes (and Josephines) we know there just have to be good-natured, up-by-the-bootstraps figures who use the market for the good of all. These unsung heroes of the marketplace buy stock in companies that provide livable wages for their employees, no matter what those companies post in their most recent quarterly earnings reports. Were it not for this fact, American companies would surely be outsourcing jobs to countries whose standards of living don't quite match the American ideal... and we all know that ain't so.

Seriously, though, the NYSE's origin can be traced back 214 years today to a group of 24 stock-brokers who decided they'd create a system that would get a minority of them rich by exploiting the majority of all. How much has changed since those backward times...

Happy Birthday NYSE! May God have mercy on your soul...

(Source)

5.16.2006

 

Stupid CNN.com Headlines Pt. 1

Okay, while writing this entry CNN.com abruptly pulled the following headline in its "latest news" section:


Someone over at CNN.com must have realized what a dumb headline this was, especially given the context of the actual article. Here's a summary of the last paragraph:

In a CNN snap poll of 461 people who watched Monday's speech, 42 percent said they had a positive opinion of the president's immigration policies before they heard him speak. Afterward, 67 percent said they had a positive view... the poll had a margin of error of plus or minus 5 percentage points. [Said] CNN senior political analyst Bill Schneider... "...that wasn't the best response he's gotten compared to other speeches, in fact it was lower than any speech we've measured since he took office."
I mean, yeah, technically the headline is accurate since there was a 25-point increase in the snap-poll audience's favorable opinion of Bush's immigration policies. But that's far from the whole story.
I guess it's just another example of a stupid CNN.com headline...
(Source)

5.15.2006

 

PWTU Quiz!



What is George the Second watching in these screenshots? Is it:

A.) Stephen Colbert's fearless perfomance at the White House Press Corresspondent's Dinner?
B.) None of the above.


Either way that's a damn fine president we have there, ain't it?

(Source)

 

Know Justice, Know Peace

Back when I was in high school I never really had a teacher I was attracted to. And that pisses me off: it seems like everyone has that memory of the "hot teacher" they just loved to drool over during class (or get molested by... well, we won't go into that here... let's keep it PG). And it's not like my school was employing a bunch of uggos, either: there were some pretty decent looking ladies at my HS back then! I just never got any of them.

Anyway, the reason for this reminicising is that apparently some teacher from West Boca, FL recently faced some controversy after the school district became aware she had been a member of the USA National Bikini Team (USA! USA!). Thankfully the district's "professional standards department" decided Thursday not to investigate her, so there's no chance she's going to be fired (unlike that teacher from Kentucky who used to do porn who was canned a couple weeks ago).



Let this be a lesson to everyone that justice always triumphs, especially when male libidos meet U.S. patriotism. After all, how could they fire a former USA National Bikini Team member during a time of war? That would be the very definition of "aid and comfort" to the enemy, methinks.

(Source)

 

Would You Have Sex with This Man?

This guy is pathetic for so many reasons that we at PWTU feel his picture (which, keep in mind, has to be the best one the loser can come up with), along with a link to his site, should be enough to convince you of his absolute douchebaggery*.

(Source)

*If this isn't a word then it should be.

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