Michigan National Guard Gets a Hummer

The Michigan National Guard has had three humvees stolen from its Olympia Armory on McGraw in Detroit over the last few weeks. You read that correctly: according to the Detroit Free Press, "...thieves scaled two barbed-wire-topped fences and cut thick chains securing the steering wheels" to steal these military vehicles. Now, what we can't decide is what's more fucked up: that teens could steal these humvees under the nose of the National Guard, or that they could actually get away with it for awhile (and use one to rob a store, too)?

We at PWTU feel that these thieves shouldn't be punished for the thefts, but hailed as the patriots they are for exposing this lapse in military security. I mean, if the National Guard can't protect their own cars (someone should tell them about The Club), how are they supposed to secure our border with Mexico?

Or Canada, that's right: us Michiganders worry more about those bastard Canadian immigrants...



I seen what u rote aboot us Canajans, eh? Please to note that we don't want ur big gas-guzzlin Hummers, we can't afford the gas, no way.

When ur nashnul Guard starts usin Ford Escape Hybrids, or Toyota Prius, all painted green n stuff, we'll come doon an steal those, okee? It's like, we like cars, but not globel warming, eh?

Okee. Have a nice dey, eh?
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