5.10.2006

 

How to Act Smart (Part I)

Despite this domain name, we're not just here to criticize people who aren't as good as me and my contributors. Our purpose is also to help people learn the tricks necessary to prove their superiority to those around them. Our first installment involves intelligence: how to fool people into thinking you know more than they do (it's easier than you think!).

Memorize the proper name (and proper pronunciation) of every head of state of every nation in the world.

You know it'll come up in conversation eventually (even if you only keep company with pot-head losers): current events. People around you will try to repeat news stories in order to demonstrate their worldliness. Imagine how impressed they'll be when you one-up them by not only knowing the same news stories but by being able to correctly pronounce the exotic names involved! Whether it's firing off Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's borderline made-up name or referring to Fidel Castro's nation as "Koo-bah", you're bound to expose the inferiority of your contemporaries just by taking the time to practice a few tricky pronounciations. Remember: if Alec Trebek can do it so can you.



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